


Romantic Skills

by Ciulla96



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Honeymoon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Post-Season/Series 06, Several attempts of marriage proposal, The Doctor needs to improve his romantic skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 21:39:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12566780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciulla96/pseuds/Ciulla96
Summary: The Doctor wants to propose to River, but he's definitely not good at proposing.“Let me guess, you decided to decorate this place with a holographic projection instead of doing it properly?”The Doctor blushed, fussing with the console and trying to fix the system he had accidently broken. “Hey, the TARDIS is just so big! Potentially infinite! It would have taken ages to decorate it otherwise!”River raised her gaze to protest, but she immediately stopped. “Uh… Sweetie… You know that your clothes were a holographic projection as well, don’t you?”





	Romantic Skills

**MARRIAGE PROPOSAL - ATTEMPT #1**

  
  
The Doctor had been visiting River in her cell in Stormcage for some nights in a row, landing in that dark place with the TARDIS every time she tried to get some good sleep. The woman often pretended to be too tired to go with him and he had to pray her to join him in his adventures – the Doctor almost pleading for her company was quite the show and according to River it was certainly worth the danger of testing his patience to the limit. She perfectly knew that at this rate a day would come when the Doctor would finally believe her and think that she’d rather prefer a good night sleep instead of a journey through time and space, but until then she could play with him like a cat batting back a mouse, having fun and loving him in her crazy, wonderful way.  
But that night was different, and as soon as the madman with the bowtie took a step out of his blue box the woman understood that for once she wouldn’t have the Doctor at her mercy.  
Something had to be happened. The woman could see it in the particularly happy light shining in his eyes, in his smile, in his unusually combed hair, in his quick and impatient pace. She couldn’t suppress a smile that was the same of his own, and she stood up to welcome him with his same joy. “What’s going on, sweetie?”  
The Time Lord smiled. “I have special plans for tonight, River! We’ll be doing a thing that… Well, we’ve already done it in the past, but in a quick version and in a time line that doesn’t exist anymore, so… Well, we’ll do it in the proper way this time”.  
The woman frowned. She didn’t understand what the Doctor was trying to say nor why he was so embarrassed; his cheeks were flushing and his eyes kept wandering across the room, sporadically lingering on River’s lips, on her hair, on her hands, but never crossing her own, as if he was too frightened to hold her gaze.  
“I don’t get it, sweetie. Could you please be more specific?”  
Only then the Doctor looked at River, his River, straightly in the eyes, and she finally put all the pieces together.  
_“In a time line that doesn’t exist anymore...”_  
_“In a quick version…”_  
_“We’re in the middle of a combat zone, so we’ll have to do the quick version. Captain Williams, say ‘I consent and gladly give’…”_  
River smiled. First it was a shy smile, then a large one, and soon it turned itself into a heartfelt laugh straight in the face of a pretty dumbfounded Doctor.  
“Is that a yes?”  
River shook her head, without stopping her laughs.  
“Have you really just proposed me with such a stupid phrase?  Oh, sweetie, you truly have to improve your romantic skills if you want me to marry you again”.  
The Doctor couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But I’ve had everything booked for tonight! There are guests! At least two!”  
“Sweetie, you may have noticed this big blue thing in my cell. You call it Sexy and you treat her like your girlfriend, but it’s your time machine actually. That means we can get married whenever we want, and certainly not before you’ve learned how to propose a woman. Now, if you don’t have any further plan for this evening you can go back where you came from, I’m so tired and I’d love to catch some sleep…”  
The Doctor’s face quickly turned from puzzled to sad.  
“Oh, no, River, please! We can do something else! Please come with me!”  
Lying on her bed, giving him her back, River silently smiled.

  
   
**ATTEMPT #2**

  
Weeks had passed since that first proposal, and River had in vain waited for a second one to come. Not that she feared that the man had changed his mind, but the long waiting was starting to annoy her. She was a brilliant and fascinating woman, she couldn’t just stand around and wait for that silly Doctor for so long.  
Sitting on her bed, River sighed. Who was she kidding? No matter what, she would wait for him forever, because she was madly in love with him and because if it was taking him so long to propose, it meant that he was truly putting effort into it.  
She smiled at the TARDIS familiar noise. She stood up, ready to welcome the Doctor with her usual loving skirmishes, but none came out of the blue box. She snorted, the situation reminding her of that night, a few weeks before, when the Time Lord kept her waiting for a long time until she entered the TARDIS without invitation and found him lying on the floor with a sleep patch on his hand – apparently it had stuck to him on its own while he was looking for his sonic screwdriver in some dark drawer.  
She snapped her fingers and the loyal box opened its doors to let her in; she did so and wowed in front of the magnificence she saw.  
The whole TARDIS was wonderfully decorated. Garlands of red roses were hanging from the ceiling, little winged hearts were flying everywhere and in the middle of all of this the Doctor was wearing an almost acceptable suit with a huge smile on his face. When she was entirely inside the console room, he snapped to have the door closed and he kneeled in front of the woman.  
“That’s what men do, isn’t it? They kneel!” He asked taking a small ring box covered in soft black velvet out of his pocket.  
“River Song, Melody Pond, amazing woman of my dreams… Will you marry me?”  
As he was saying this, he opened the box and stretched his arm towards River to let her take the content.  
She had been happy and touched until then, but she totally changed her attitude when she saw what was inside, creased and folded.  
“Seriously? A bowtie?”  
“That’s not just a bowtie!” The Doctor replied as if offended. “That’s the bowtie we used when we got married the first time! The one we used to bond our hands and our souls together!” He ended tragically.  
“Sweetie, as you kindly reminded me the last time you proposed, that was a time line that doesn’t exist anymore… As well as all the things that it contained. Including the bowtie”.  
The Doctor immediately stood up, a little upset. “It’s a symbol! You’re never happy with anything I do!” He yelled, punching the TARDIS console in frustration.  
Immediately, all the things that surrounded them disappeared – roses, hearts and lights, as if sucked into a black hole. The woman winced, but it didn’t take her long to understand.  
“Let me guess, you decided to decorate this place with a holographic projection instead of doing it properly?”  
The Doctor blushed, fussing with the console and trying to fix the system he had accidently broken. “Hey, the TARDIS is just so big! Potentially infinite! It would have taken ages to decorate it otherwise!”  
River raised her gaze to protest, but she immediately stopped. “Uh… Sweetie… You know that your clothes were a holographic projection as well, don’t you?”  
For that night, the marriage issue was put on hold.  
 

  
**ATTEMPT #3**

 

This time was the right one; the Doctor could feel it. The TARDIS console room was fully decorated with real flowers and garlands; the lights were perfect, the speech was learned and this time he had a wonderful ring to finally get the woman to say yes – somehow he had managed to get the twenty-fifth biggest diamond in the whole universe, and he had gone for the twenty-fifth only because the previous twenty-four were way too big to be worn on a finger. Everything was ready, the only thing missing was the future bride.  
Waiting for her in the TARDIS took longer than usual, but when he finally saw her the Doctor understood why. River had changed – probably she had understood what was going to happen that evening, brilliant as she was – and now she was wearing a wonderful, simple red dress that emphasized her mature and sinuous curves. She had combed her hair in a high and elegant bun and the Doctor smiled seeing it, heartened by the fact that, after all, she appeared to care about the wedding as well as he did.  
He kneeled once again, ready to open the box that this time contained something that would have surely been appreciated by the woman.  
“River… You’ve really driven me crazy with this proposal thing…”  
“That’s not the right way either, sweetie…”  
“Let me finish! I can’t deny it, I’ve often thought that you were a fool, to say the least, asking me to put so much effort for a union that we both already feel in our hearts… But more often I’ve thought that if that’s what you want, then that’s what you deserve. You’re a wonderful woman, River, you’re so beautiful and sweet in your crazy way, you’re always next to me, ready to bear my weirdness, and I truly feel from the bottom of my heart the desire of sticking by you for the rest of my life. I would do anything for you, I’d steal the moon for you if you asked, and you know that I could literally do it, it’s not that difficult… And if all you want is a romantic proposal, then there it is. I’m here, kneeling in front of you to ask you to marry me, because you might not know it, you might doubt me, doubt my words, but that’s the truth. I love you, professor Song, and I’d like you to say yes, that’s my deepest desire. I’ve seen the whole universe far and wide, I’ve seen the birth and death of millions of stars, the formation and the explosion of millions of planets, I’ve witnessed the miracle of life, I’ve seen the most wonderful events in the most wonderful worlds, but every beauty pales in front of yours. River, my sweet River… Will you marry me?”  
He opened the ring box with shaking hands, and he looked intently in River’s watery eyes. The woman was trying not to show her feelings on her way too communicative face.  
“Yes”, whispered River, finally happy, trying to hold back her tears as the Doctor put the ring on her finger and hugged her tightly, making the moment even more perfect.  
“We’ll get married when you want, in the way you decide, River”, he said leaving a kiss on her head. “But now I just want to take you out dancing, as you’ve been asking for weeks. I’m going to change, you’re way too wonderful for a raggedy man as I am”.  
River found herself alone in the console room, incredulous and touched. She started moving around the room, caressing the decorations and smelling the flowers hanging here and there. She found a note on a red rose and she opened it with a huge smile, thinking of another surprise from the Doctor.  
The smile quickly faded away.  
  
_Doctor,_  
_please, remember that I’m helping you only because it’s about my daughter. Don’t get used to it. These are the last flowers I bought; please, hung them yourself and don’t let someone else do it as you’ve done with the rest of the work. And be sure to compliment her on her dress and kiss her, after repeating the speech that I’ve written for you. Make her happy, Doctor, and please do something to improve your romantic skills._  
_Amy Pond_  
  
Well, somehow the Doctor was going to pay for it.  
 

  
**THE HONEYMOON**

 

The boring and apparently endless wedding ceremony had finally ended, much to the Doctor’s delight. Both the bride and the groom knew each other better after this experience; River had finally come to know the Time Lord’s true name, and the Doctor had discovered that his wife could become truly vengeful if she found out that her mother was the one who wrote the engagement speech. Luckily, everything was over and River had decided to give him another chance to be romantic, which meant that he had to decide where to go for the honeymoon.  
It had been difficult, but in the end he thought he had found the perfect place. He had chosen the most flourishing age, he had rent a huge manor that could meet all the needs of his lady, and he had got himself thoroughly ready, wearing his best bowtie and even a wonderful and truly elegant fez.  
He was a bit nervous anyway, when he brought River there without announcing her the destination. He opened the TARDIS door with chivalry and River found herself in the magnificent and luxurious residence where she would have lived for a whole week. Well, maybe not lived, as she was sure that they would have travelled a lot anyway, but certainly she would have slept there. Well, maybe not slept, it still was their honeymoon after all… But they would have used the bed for sure.  
She was too curious to discover where they were so she ran out of the house without thinking twice. She froze on the doorstep when she saw what was laying a few meters in front of them, and she turned to the Doctor, her face flushing not because of the embarrassment but because of the anger that was rising in an effort to hide and forget the painful memories.  
“You brought me to Lake Silencio? Seriously?”  
The Time Lord lowered his gaze, a bit frustrated. “I knew this might be a mistake, but it’s the only place that came to me”.  
“But how could it even be an option? You marry me and you bring me on our honeymoon in the place where I was about to kill you?”  
The Doctor firmly looked in the archeologist’s eyes. “River, I’m so sorry. I’ve rent manors in more normal places fearing a similar response. But please, let me explain. This place is very important for our story. It’s a place that binds us, it has a deep meaning and it’s not fair to run away from it just because it brings back painful memories. Besides, River, the shores of this lake… This is where I truly understood that I love you. Because if you’re willing to love a person the moment she’s about to kill you, then you’re willing to love her forever”.  
River almost didn’t hear the Doctor’s last words; they were little more than a whisper upon her lips before he kissed her to stop any protest she could have. But River didn’t have any protest, she had seen the sincerity in her husband’s eyes and she had understood that the Doctor was actually trying to be romantic, despite his not-so-good results. Taking his hand, she led him to the shores of the lake, in the same spot where they were standing less than a year before in a much different attitude. While the water was wetting their feet, River smiled turning to the Doctor. “Fine, maybe the lake isn’t that bad. Besides, it allows me to do something that I wish to do since the very first moment I’ve seen you this morning”.  
“What is it?” He asked curiously.  
Without answering, River took his fez and threw it into the lake, looking at it floating and slowly getting soaked with water.  
“Much better!”  
 

  
**THE LAST NIGHT**

 

Years spent complaining and a regeneration had finally brought the Doctor and River to the perfect date. The woman almost couldn’t believe her ears when the waitress told her that they were sitting at the best table in the whole restaurant; it was isolated, cosy, the perfect place for a married couple who wishes to spend a dinner in intimacy. The Doctor was waiting for her at the table, wearing a miraculously elegant suit and with his hair combed in a way that hid the roots that she had ironically blamed before. He put an arm around her waist, he noticed her new dress and hairstyle, he praised her and showered her in compliments, he looked at her, he admired and loved her with everything he had. He showed her the landscape, he invited her to listen to the singing towers.  
He listened to the towers with her, and he cried, apparently touched by the sight.  
A perfect, romantic date.  
Deep down, River knew the true reason why the Doctor cried. She knew the stories, she had heard the songs, and she knew that according to the legends that would have been the last night the two of them would have spent together. And whether a night on Darillium lasted twenty-four years or twenty-four minutes, it still was the last one.  
Yes, it had been a perfect romantic date; her husband had finally learned well. But the Doctor was a Time Lord, with hundreds of years behind and hundreds of years in front of him, a long-lived man who used to think that he had plenty of lives on hand. That’s why he had made an enormous and irreparable mistake.  
He had learned too late.  
 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so bad at choosing titles. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!


End file.
